Trying to decide.

I've been neglecting a lot of stuff lately. I've been very passive about my life in the last couple months. It's not like me...but it's been a weird year. Today for probably the first time in my life I've made a list of pros and cons to help me organize the clutter in my head. It kinda helped. These last couple days I've felt very indifferent about my surroundings.  My friend told me something very serious yesterday. She almost psychoanalyzed me. She might be right. And then today my mom told me something really serious too. People have been telling me important things lately. Should I do something? Change something? I'm being very vague but in real life I wouldn't actually tell anyone this. That's why I like writing :)

I've also thought about things that I dislike about myself. Here are some:

-I think I have a superiority complex
-I can be really obnoxious
-I have trouble talking to people about real stuff
-I think way too much
-I take a book everywhere with me. I think it bothers people
-I'm constantly fighting people on the way they think

It's not important stuff I guess. My favorite teacher, who passed away recently, always used to say that it is important to be able to look into a mirror and be happy with what you see. I think about that a lot. I wonder if people do this. When I look in a mirror I know who I'm looking at and I'm happy about my actions and who I've become. But I can also see who I am deep down inside. I've done some things in my past that don't necessary reflect who I am now. I also know that I have really "bad" tendencies or I guess I'm by nature a pretty mean person. But at least I try. And in the back of my head I always fear becoming like my father. My teacher was a great man, I miss him. People disappear. Anyway, even with all the seriousness in my life right now, the moment of the week that probably bothered me the most was the fact that a couple days ago, I accidently skipped an awesome song on Pandora instead of putting up the volume. Pathetic! haha. Oh and when my sister told me that I was both the smartest and the dumbest person she's ever known. The highlight of my week was probably...having a good day with my mom today. And my friend said something in a funny way yesterday that kinda made me happy. But I forgot what it was :P

Trees are great.