Pushing the boulder uphill

The story of Sisyphus has always intringued me. I know it's because I find it so similar to actual life. It's all just pushing the boulder uphill, watching it roll back down, and then pushing it up again. Almost everything in life is pure vanity. It's all really meaningless. We create these things, these ideas, just to make us feel like we're actually doing something worthwhile. It's all full of emptiness. It's so hard to look around and watch t.v. or be in class listening to some bs or checking my email or shopping without thinking about how stupid it is to do this stuff. It's kind of when you're giving a speech and you use a bunch of filler words ("um", "like") to fill in the gaps. We use every day trivialities as fillers to give meaning to life. I guess it's only when you come out of the cave and perceive the world as it truly is (even if the sun blinds you at first), that you can find a deeper meaning, or at least your own purpose. It's so hard to know things for sure sometimes. I'm not a skeptic but recently I've realized that I question stuff a lot. It's not a bad thing I guess. Like, how can I know the difference between being happy and sad? It sounds crazy I know, but it's weird that every time I feel at my zenith of glorious bliss, I always start listening to depressing music...It's kind of like being happy allows me to appreciate being sad or maybe I don't like the feeling of being happy so I drown it out...Gosh I must sound insane. Please stop reading this. Sisyphus sounds like such a patient being. But it's only a myth.