Pushing the boulder uphill

The story of Sisyphus has always intringued me. I know it's because I find it so similar to actual life. It's all just pushing the boulder uphill, watching it roll back down, and then pushing it up again. Almost everything in life is pure vanity. It's all really meaningless. We create these things, these ideas, just to make us feel like we're actually doing something worthwhile. It's all full of emptiness. It's so hard to look around and watch t.v. or be in class listening to some bs or checking my email or shopping without thinking about how stupid it is to do this stuff. It's kind of when you're giving a speech and you use a bunch of filler words ("um", "like") to fill in the gaps. We use every day trivialities as fillers to give meaning to life. I guess it's only when you come out of the cave and perceive the world as it truly is (even if the sun blinds you at first), that you can find a deeper meaning, or at least your own purpose. It's so hard to know things for sure sometimes. I'm not a skeptic but recently I've realized that I question stuff a lot. It's not a bad thing I guess. Like, how can I know the difference between being happy and sad? It sounds crazy I know, but it's weird that every time I feel at my zenith of glorious bliss, I always start listening to depressing music...It's kind of like being happy allows me to appreciate being sad or maybe I don't like the feeling of being happy so I drown it out...Gosh I must sound insane. Please stop reading this. Sisyphus sounds like such a patient being. But it's only a myth.

you just never know.

Who knew that my friday could be pretty awesome after having lost my car keys last night?!?
Triple A had to tow my car from orange to anaheim this morning (which was totally cool). Towing guy was super nice! He gave me his number & told me to call him so he could teach me how to drive a tow truck (prrrrobably won't do it ha). Called my uncle & he got me a discount to have my car key remade. It was going to cost me over $200 and I only had to pay $85. Got free lunch, survived going uphill on my stick-shift, got the maximum cash-back policy waived for me at the grocery store, stopped traffic on Anaheim Blvd. for a few minutes to back up my car attached to the tow truck, and random homeless lady told me I was really pretty (after I told her I didn't have any money) :D hahaha yikes someone out there still has my car keys though. My life is never dull :p I don't know how to feel about that...

It's either highs or lows isn't it?

car keys....where are you?!?! Oh cursed day.

Gérard Depardieu....pourquoi?!?!

I need to stop procrastinating! This french class will be the death of me. Watching Grapes of Wrath for my french homework due...tomorrow. Yes I had a whole week, but I didn't refine & perfect my academic stratagem in HS to leave it all behind in college. So it's an all-nighter for me tonight. No dreaming...of course. Week is almost over!!!

He was an impostor! I totally believed him too! Good movie.

trippy dream

I dreamt last night! And I remember it very vividly. This is what went down:

-I was jogging through some kind of national park.
-passed by a group of elementary kids who were in some sort of field trip
THIS IS WHERE IT GETS TRIPPY!!!!
-ahead of me is this lady who has what on a leash? a dog? NOPE. a white tiger.
-I observe that she is having a lot of trouble controlling the tiger. She wraps the leash around her hand repeatedly but I get a feeling that the tiger will soon break its leash sooo....
-I run to the nearest tree and climb it.
-the tiger gets off the leash and races to the kids....

It's a tragic dream. I've been thinking about it the whole day because I'm certain it means something. Or maybe I'm just trying to give it a meaning. I guess I felt bad for climbing up the tree without warning anybody about the tiger. Tripped me out. Hope it doesn't turn into a recurring dream :/