Life is awesome/weird/confusing

Today is Monday! it feels like I had a good day? maybe? I really can't tell. Summer is almost over. I am almost 21...I have been dreaming every single night.
Saturday I had a dream that two of my friends and I were on some sort of death row locked in a basement and we prepared a crazy elaborate and very genius way to escape...we escaped just when it was our turn to hang. It wasn't scary but definitely something odd to dream about.
On Friday I dreamt that I was in a city full of skyscrapers with awesome lighting at night. And I had a freaking cool racing car and I was driving the opposite way because, well it was a strange land and I guess I was confused ha ha. I think it was Tokyo!
Last night's dream was me in a car driving for hours through the desert, just looking out the window and thinking. Pretty peaceful compared to the other ones!
Today was eventful. For a Monday. I had to get coffee and then drink energy shots and I still felt like I was buried 6 feet down. Yeesh, I'm so happy it is almost over >.< PAY CHECK WEDNESDAY! Biggest one yet...OH YEEEEAAAAUUUH!!!! Happy August?

In a red corvette driving through this city...would be nice :D 

Sizzling!

Bleh it is way too hot in California.

I have been dreaming almost every day it is so creepy.
The last dream I remember was of me walking around this really huge building, it seemed like I was back in high school. Anyway, I was looking all around and I felt so out of place because all the girls were teenagers and they were whispering things in each other's ears and giggling. I felt like they were mocking me because I was older and could not share in their trivialities. It felt really strange and kind of depressing. I guess I have been thinking about getting older lately. I mean, sometimes it seems like time goes by so slowly but other times it seems like a whole year has passed and you don't feel any different, that not a lot of things have changed...at least not enough things. I just don't like the feeling of growing older. It's crazy because I don't usually dream the subconscious things in my head, my dreams are usually fun and exciting or creepy and mysterious. This one was really obvious.

I feel like going to the beach! and the movies! Let's see what I dream next :D

muahaha!

Life isn't so sucky lately! New week and I have realized that I have a bunch of old and new friends I need to catch up with. People have been texting me and making plans, I'm very happy because I need the distraction. This week I'm seeing a couple friends from CU then going to a grad party with other friends and  meeting a really old friend on Sunday that I have not seen in years. YAY!!!! Work is great, I have so much work but I am determined to be the best at what I do and I think I'm getting better :)

I haven't done much to talk about, just eating a lot of crummy things and I just bought a box of eclairs that I plan to take to work tomorrow. I have been netflixing a lot, watching all season of Malcolm in the Middle because I just think that show is hilarious! Haven't done anything smart lately like read a book but hopefully I can get back to reading The Stand... Also our band is hopefully going to start recording soon and we will have our own Youtube channel! That's exciting.

Anyway, hopefully I can  get some time to myself before school starts again! Oh! and I'm super excited for Clay to come back to Cali in August!!! I can't wait to see him :) yay.



Eclairs make me happy :)



Longest day of the year

Yesterday was the longest day of the year. It was hot and gross. And I was a little depressed. There is nothing like being heartbroken twice in a span of two months. I think in a way it makes you stronger though, like nothing could hurt you now. I have always feared people leaving my life...and not coming back. It is actually my biggest fear in life which is why I meet people a lot but I don't necessarily get too close to them. I need to focus in school and work. I absolutely love my job, it is very satisfying and my brain is working non-stop. I have a stack of work to get to next week but I think it can wait. School needs more attention too...I can't wait until this summer is over, I hate summer. I wish it were winter already. I need perfect grades, no distractions, and more involvement. Oh and a haircut I guess...

Life sucks so much sometimes!!!!!!! D= but once you're down it can only get better, right?!?

Heart break :I

It's crazy how attached you can become to someone and then having that person leave forever. And you knew from the beginning it probably wasn't going to work out but you still went for it cause he needed you and you just wanted to be his friend. But then you let the feelings flow in. It's difficult. I have realized that life usually consists of waiting, forgetting, and remembering. Right now I'm doing all 3. It's not that bad, I think that what I like about myself is that I can get over things very quickly because I'm quite frivolous, you see, and I get distracted easily. And I have also known for a while that people come and go from your life and even if they have impacted you greatly, and even if they may be your closest friend today, they may be gone tomorrow. So I was prepared to let go. It sucks and it's rather depressing I guess but life goes on. And then there's this feeling of freedom and of happiness that you can be yourself again and you don't have to read minds again or wait for approval or impress or keep people happy because you're scared they'll go away. Or wondering when's the next time they'll text you or call you or what they're doing blah blah blah. I don't want to baby anyone. I'm so lucky that I have wonderful friends in my life and a great family. I don't know what I would do without them. I'm excited to have my life back and looking forward to the future but for now I need some time to myself!!! Count the blessings and not the failures. Happy May :)

New beginning!!!!

It is Wednesday and I am so happy! Yesterday I got a job offer for which I had already applied and interviewed. Within a week I have gotten a new job! I will be working for Farmers Insurance as a customer service representative and I will get paid more and get better hours. Hooray! I am really sad that I have to resign to my current position because i really really love my job now but I can't afford to pass up this opportunity. I am also really excited for my new job! I think I'll be really happy there as well. So it seems like it will be a busy summer for me this year :)

I haven't written in a while. Nothing super exciting has happened until now I guess. I'm back to jogging 3 days out of the week. I was supposed to go today but Martha did not wake up in time. So I stayed home instead and made pancakes for breakfast. Fiber pancakes of course. At first they tasted weird but now they taste really good! I think I'm ok with my weight right now but I need to go fit for the summer! (don't we all?!?) UMMMM I donated $5 to a charity today. This organization has been on campus for a couple months now and today the guy was extra pushy so I decided to donate. It sucks cause I'm broke though. I myself need donations! ha ha but I guess it's nice to donate :P Semester is almost over! I can't wait until Liz & Clay come back home! I miss them.

That's it for now!!!!!! =D

back to the grind

New dream: throughout the whole dream I was drinking water nonstop. I think I'm dehydrated.

It's been forever since I have updated my blog. New semester has begun and I guess life has become more demanding lately. I feel like a robot. I like my classes for the most part. I'm taking 2 French classes, 2 comm classes, and 1 history class. I'm still working at the Student Union. I love my job. I love helping people from opening the doors for them to walking them to a building on campus. It's awesome. For the most part, people are appreciative of my efforts and I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile which is nice. I've been thinking about what I will do Junior year though. I want to work somewhere where I can be promoted and get raises. I think that's really important. I love my current position but I feel like I NEED to move up. I feel so mediocre when I don't move up. I have always imagined myself as that person who starts at the bottom and works her way to the veeeeery top. Ambition is a good thing for the most part, I just gotta keep it in check. I might apply to be a tour guide next year. It'd be good experience for me. And I need to be more engaged in school. Life's not so bad and weather is great! Goal for the semester is perfect grades + more school involvement. I'm going to work the french table at the involvement fair tomorrow! And then pay day is Friday hooray :)